The night is loud
through the window;
the rolling waves of cars
coming for the wall
adjacent to my room
into my heart -
I always knew a car
accident would be the death of me.
I can feel it inside
I can feel it in the hurricane
in my heart.
I can feel it in the wind
in my lungs.
I can know it in your face
your sad, sagging pout.
I can know it in your pores
trying to get me out.
Am I system?
Are you on overdrive?
Do I make you feel contagious
when you're kissing that other guy?
Do I make you feel alive?
This night, on the second month
on the fourteenth day,
I will think of you, won't I?
I will miss you every night
from here on out, for another year.
I'll follow a routine
You're not on my team
rooting for me
or hoping to see me
any place
anymore.
The night is loud
but so am I
I'll scream to the traffic passing by
"Don't you wish he was your guy?!
He was mine at one time."
And finally,
the night is quiet
with only the echoes of crickets
and your bouncing laugh
in my dreams.
The night is loud, I said,
but the world around me sleeps.

And on the day that things fell through
I sat on a bench and thought of you
It was cold and crisp, but the sky was clear
and through the breeze, I could almost hear
you say, "you know, it really hurts
when you tell me you love me, but it doesn't work.
Its not enough to get us through
but all I do is think of you."

And it was really great, those early weeks
when we'd sleep together, cheek to cheek
I'd pull you in, and our arms would tangle
our bodies contorted into twisted angles.
Its funny how quickly love can go
and melt down as quick as snow.
The evidence that it ever was
is as traceable as our flaws.

Oh, those early months, when it was easy
when, without you, I'd get queasy.
Its funny how quickly love can die
cremated and airborne into the sky.
But we move forward, we always do
its not easy, but we have to.
We pick up the pieces of broken love
and take what we wish to get a hold of.

So I sit some places, and often think
if I could have done things differently?
I lay my head back, and I can hear you say,
"You've made me want to wither away."