When I was young,
I believed everyone.
If you told me a lie, I'd take it for truth.
But now that I'm old,
my spirit is wise,
if you tell me the truth, I think its a lie.

When I was a boy,
I never seemed to enjoy
the things that other boys did.
But now I'm a man,
I do what I please
and I'm as free and full as the breeze.

When I was hurt,
I'd reach to the earth
and cry until the night made me sleep.
But now when I'm down
I dress up and go out
Refusing to show sadness or doubt.

When I was alone
I'd spend quiet nights at home
wishing on stars to bring me someone to love.
But I'm still alone
and the stars are all gone
and now I know I don't need anyone.

In five hundred years,
or once they forget about this place
once our photographs are removed from the mantle
and burned in the fireplace -
I'll still think of your smile,
those lips and how they taste.
I'll still remember our complementary perfection
as we are pressed together,
face to face.

- 12/26/2006

Youth is a blissful ignorance of the past
or concept of a past.
As one grows older, the knowledge of the past corrupts.
It becomes the anchor, the weight,
the burden.

Searching, wandering,
lost like my purpose is gone.
Like my dog was lost,
because things don't make sense
and I feel like I've been broken.
I feel like I've been cast aside,
like I'm floating alone, all alone all along.
I don't know how long the night lasts,
and I don't know how to get back.
Lost without a flashlight,
lost without word of mouth
or stars to follow in the sky.
Lost without moss,
lost without cause,
lost and losing still.
I don't have a lot to offer, no
and I don't have tons to give.
My hands are open, though,
and even if there isn't anything in them,
I hope that someday just the company is enough.
Just the gaps between my fingers
are enough for someone to hold onto.
I've experienced the heartbreak,
I've seen it in your eyes.
And I know its real, and I know it hurts
but I'm ready to feel it again.
Because every day that I don't,
I'm not sure if I can keep staying human.
I need to fall apart some more.
I need to hurt some more.
I need to feel myself breaking up,
like a comet heading into earth,
like an emotion hitting my heart.

I'd be crazy
before I'd be you
and I'd be happy
if it were true
that it was over
that it was done
and I'd be silly
to think you were the one.
But the day is not over
the sunset's just begun
and I'd be so stupid
to think that we're done
with this disaster
that we've created
the pieces are shattered
just like they were fated.
But I'm not so crazy
to let this thing go
and you're just my shadow
you don't know, though.